It's a Glamorous Life...

(Beware...the following post contains descriptions of pretty much every bodily function there is. It is not pretty. Read at your own risk). I included the cute picture to the left so that maybe when this is done you'll remember that and not allow the visual images I'm about to draw for you to ruin your evening...

Being a parent is really pretty glamorous business. For the uninitiated, sometimes babies won't poo for days. It's completely normal, but just makes future poos that much more fantastic. So Sebastian hadn't had a good poo in like a week, and then had a big one this morning. Again for the uninitiated, as babies get older and start eating solid foods in addition to breastmilk, poo gets progressively grosser. Solid food poo is absolutely disgusting. I am not a fan. It is smelly, sticky, and impossible to clean up. Just all around foul.

Anyway, so I figured since he'd pooped this morning (Ken got to clean that one up! Woo!), I'd be good for the rest of the day at least. But then around 3, he's grunting and farting like a madman. I thought SURELY he can't be pooping again. I check, and he did. And it's enormous. WTF?

Go to clean it up, and it's nasty. Smelly, sticky, and everywhere. The disposable liners we use in our cloth dipes (so we can pick it up and flush it) only partially got it. I had to use two more just to get it off his bum. I used a billion (cloth) wipes and tons of foaming wipe solution to clean him up, and he was squirming all over the place, flailing with arms and legs.

He stuck his foot in it twice. Then he stuck his other foot in it once. He got his hands in it. Then he wiped his hand on his shirt. THEN he peed all over himself and the changing table. While I'm cleaning THAT up, he's wailing because all the pooping gave him a bit of a rash and it can't feel good me constantly wiping there. Getting the shirt off his big head while trying not to get poo and pee all over him was like herding cats.

Ok, so baby is mostly clean and re-dressed, diapers/wipes/changing table pad are in the washer getting clean, and what does Sebastian do? Why, spits all over himself and me, of course. I just sighed and said, "Seriously, kid, can you just please go 30 seconds without doing something disgusting?" He just grinned at me. Grinned all the way to the bathtub, cause you KNOW he needed a good scrubbing after all that. Ick.

Yep, it's been that kind of day.